My desire to be a stay-at-home mom began when my husband and I were married. After 5 years of splitting my time between the children I gave birth to and the ones I saw from 8:20-3:25 each day, the opportunity finally presented itself. I worked up the courage to resign from my teaching job in December due to an early notice incentive, and 5 months later I officially began my journey of full-time homemaking. Since then I’ve discovered some things that I absolutely love about being home, as well as some other things that aren’t so enjoyable. Here’s what I’ve learned in my first several months of staying at home with my children!
Over the past 6 months, I have been pleasantly surprised by the flexibility that staying home with the kids has allowed for my family. I am in the unique situation of being able to schedule appointments at virtually any time, and we can see friends or family on a few days’ notice. When my husband forgets his lunch, we can take it to him. If I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with one or both of my children, I don’t have to wait until the weekend to focus on bonding with them. This freedom of flexibility has been liberating, and I like to think I’m taking full advantage of it.
I’ve also been thoroughly enjoying maintaining my home. I finally have the time to keep my house and laundry (mostly) clean. We don’t find our cabinets and refrigerator empty as often. I’m enjoying planning meals, cooking them, and baking treats. I know that the stay-at-home life isn’t appealing for everyone, but as I said–this is something that I’ve desired for years. I get a lot of personal satisfaction from keeping our house running at a higher capacity than I could as a mom who worked outside of the home.
A slightly unexpected benefit of this time at home is that I’ve gotten to know myself. I’ve finally committed to an Enneagram type (6!!…. With a 5 wing…. And a lot of 1 influence. Okay, committed may be too strong of a word). I’ve spent more time in the Word of God than I have in a long time. I’ve read lots of books, and if you’d like to know more about that you can check out a previous post! It’s been life-giving to have the bandwidth I need in order to focus some of my energy inward.
As I said above, there are also some aspects of my new role that I haven’t loved. One of the things I’ve struggled with during this time is the feeling of inadequacy. After working at some sort of job for 10 years, it’s been a hard transition into not earning an income. I feel guilty for not contributing to our family in this way, and I’ve also caught myself worrying about how others perceive me in my new role. Do they think I’m lazy? That I take advantage of my husband’s income? That I didn’t enjoy teaching? As much as I try to stay confident in my decision, I still struggle with negative feelings.
Speaking of teaching, it has not been easy to transition out of that role. I miss being a teacher. I missed shopping for supplies, preparing a classroom, and meeting a new group of students. I miss guiding them as they journey through 2nd grade. I miss the camaraderie of having teammates that I see and work with every day. If I’m being honest, I miss the recognition and compliments from others that are much more prevalent if you work in a job outside of the home.
Regardless of the downsides, I wouldn’t trade this precious time for any other opportunity. I know my children, my husband and I are better people because of my decision. Even though there are definite downsides to staying home, I feel like I’ve finally stepped into the role that God placed on my heart years ago. I would like to conclude this post be encouraging you to pursue your God-given desires. If you want to stay home, find a way to make it happen. If you want to go back to work, start looking for jobs. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us all that ‘“…I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ You will find the fulfillment you’ve been searching for if you’re only brave enough to pursue it.